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Funny Birthday Cards
Funny birthday cards? Humorous birthday cards? At PaperCards.com we feel that our selection of funny birthday cards is second to none. We carry over 1,000 humorous birthday cards from dozens of leading card brands like Avanti, Nobleworks, Recycled Paper Greetings and Oatmeal Studios. Some of the best artists are represented including Gary McCoy, Glenn McCoy, Teresa Burns Parkhurst, Eric Decetis, Hilary B. Price, Dan Collins and dozens more. From a little smile to a side-splitting laugh, you'll be busy shopping our giant selection of funny birthday cards. Just don't forget to stop to eat and drink!
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and Related Items | by Nobleworks | Our Price: $2.95
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| Front: | 10 Diet Rules You've Never Thought of! 1. Food consumed when no one is around contains zero calories. 2. While baking - there are no calories in frosting or batter licked directly from the spoon or bowl. 3. Movie food (i.e. popcorn slathered in butter, candy, chocolate, etc.) doesn't count as food, it's entertainment. 4. Foods of similar color have the same caloric value: ie - white chocolate = mushrooms, pistachio ice cream = spinach. 5. Breaking cookies into small pieces neutrilizes their fat content. 6. Diet drinks negate the calories in chocolate when consumed together. 7. Frozen foods contain no calories as calories are a heat measurement. 8. Junk food is perfectly fine to consume as empty calories = no calories. 9. The calories consumed at a meal don't count when your date eats more than you. 10. Food with medicinal properties Brandy, Honey or Hot Cocoa, never count as calories. | | Inside: | Happy Birthday. Have another piece of cake! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 white envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Talk Bubbles | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD10190 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. |
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and Related Items | by Curiosities Greeting Cards | Our Price: $1.67
List Price: $1.85
(10% saved)
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| Front: | EXCHANGES - Box Reads 'Acme 1000 Words' - Dave decides to find out if a 'Pitcher really is worth a thousand words?' | | Inside: | You can't exchange this birthday card...it's also your gift! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 white envelope | | Size: | 5x7 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Curiosities | | Artist/Credits: | Chuck Donner | | Item #: | CD51 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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and Related Items | by Nobleworks | Our Price: $3.50
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| Front: | 21st Century Quotations - I tweet therefore I am. - To friend or not to friend that is the question - Ask not what Wikipedia can't tell you. - One bad Apple requires a call to tech support. - So many websites, so little time. - Is that an iPod in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? - Don't cry over a spilled latte. - It's all geek to me. | | Inside: | Don't quote me, but I heard it's your birthday! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 white envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Talk Bubbles | | Artist/Credits: | K Krassner | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD10187 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. |
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and Related Items | by Nobleworks | Our Price: $2.95
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| Front: | Weekly world news. Fat cat owns 23 old ladies. Tubby tabby rules retirement roost! | | Inside: | It's your birthday; the cat's out of the bag! Happy Birthday! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Weekly World News | | Item #: | CD3932 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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and Related Items | by Recycled Paper Greetings | Our Price: $3.79
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| Front: | It's windy today! No, it's Thursday! So am I! Let's have a beer! | | Inside: | This birthday, surround yourself with friends who really understand you! Happy Birthday! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 5x7 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Zero Gravity | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD3466 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in the USA. Printed on recycled paper. Sustainable Forestry Initiative. |
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and Related Items | by Oatmeal Studios | Our Price: $3.49
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| Front: | Did you know that women use about 30,000 words a day while men use only 15,000? Yes, because we have to repeat everything! What? | | Inside: | I'm only going to say this once, Happy Birthday! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 5x7 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Features: | Recycled Paper, Vegetable Based Inks, Full Color Interior | | Item #: | CD10305 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Card and envelope are printed with vegetable-based inks on recycled paper. Printed in USA. |
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and Related Items | by Nobleworks | Our Price: $3.50
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| Front: | To reach that blissful state of happiness known as Nirvana you can work your way through the eight steps of Yoga. | | Inside: | Or you can just sit on your ass and eat chocolate. Hope your birthday is blissfully happy! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | The Humor Company | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD6171 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. Printed on Recycled Paper |
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and Related Items | by Nobleworks | Our Price: $3.50
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| Front: | recently I was diagnosed with a.a.a.d.d. Age activated attention deficit disorder. This is how it manifests: I decided to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over my car and decide it needs washing. As I start towards the garage, I realize I'm starving. As I pass the refrigerator, I see a vase of flowers. As I reach for the vase, I knock over my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decided I'd better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter and fill a container with water when I see the remote someone left on the kitchen counter. I realize that later when I want to watch TV I'll be looking for the remote but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen counter, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs but first I'll get the mail. So I set the remote back on the counter, then head down the hall, trying to get remember what I was planning to do… | | Inside: | but first I want to wish you a happy birthday… If I haven't already… I can't remember. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 red envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Talk Bubbles | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD10705 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. Printed on recycled paper. |
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and Related Items | by Nobleworks | Our Price: $3.50
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| Front: | There are 7 ages of men, but only 3 for women… 1. child 2. 21 3. none of your business! | | Inside: | Celebrate your birthday like it's nobody's business. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 white envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Talk Bubbles | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD6155 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. Printed on Recycled Paper |
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and Related Items | by Nobleworks | Our Price: $2.95
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| Front: | Aging gracefully is a virtue… so why is lying about your age NOT? | | Inside: | No lie, you look marvelous! Happy Birthday! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 white envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Talk Bubbles | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD10184 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. |
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and Related Items | by Nobleworks | Our Price: $2.95
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| Front: | Weekly world news. Alien body snatchers reject Paris Hilton! There's no place like home! Apparently Paris wasn't exactly the aliens' cup of tea. | | Inside: | Don't mean to probe, but how old are you anyway? Happy Birthday. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Weekly World News | | Item #: | CD3936 | | Availability: | Limited Quantity |
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and Related Items | by Portal Publications | Our Price: $3.49
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| Front: | All I Need To Know About Birthdays I learned From My Cat * Be finicky. They'll try harder to please you. * Give attitude. Get Attention. * If you don't like your presents, sulk. * Never tell your age. * If you get bored at your party, just curl up for a nap. * Don't stress out over your first gray whisker. * Act completely unimpressed by the presents you receive. * Paws and reflect on what life has given to you. * Remember, this is your day, so if anyone bugs you you're allowed to hiss and spit. * Take the day off and lie in the sun. * Stay out on the prowl all night long. * Demand only the most expensive fresh fish for dinner. * It's a good day to shed you inhibitions. * Act catty. * Toy with your presents before you tear them open. * Spend some quality time in the litterbox. * Don't overdo it with the catnip or you'll regret it in the morning. * If you aren't getting enough attention, sharpen your claws on somebody's leg. * Don't let anything or anyone put you out. | | Inside: | And remember curiosity might kill you but birthdays won't! Happy Birthday | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 white envelope | | Size: | 4.75 x 6.65 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Artist/Credits: | Alan Wnuk | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD10048 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. 100% Recycled. Printed with Certified Wind Power. Carbon Neutral. Elemental Chlorine Free. Printed with Soy Ink. |
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and Related Items | by Portal Publications | Our Price: $3.49
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| Front: | All I Need To Know About Birthdays I learned From My Dog * You were born to be loved. * You can teach an old dog new tricks. * Chewing on your presents is the highest form on appreciation * The best way to say thank you is a big lick on the face. * If you don't get what you want, beg. * The best thing about getting old is pretending you don't hear them call. * If you don't like your presents, roll over and play dead. * Just stare at what you want until you get it. * If it smells good, eat it. * Every dog has its day - this one is yours. * Bury your favorite presents in the backyard. * Stay up late and howl at the moon. * Have someone fetch your slippers for a change. * Sniff your presents before you tear into them. * Sometimes a single year can seem like seven. * A good birthday can give you a whole new leash on life. * Paws and reflect on what life has given you. | | Inside: | And remember, as birthdays come and go… keep that tail waggin' and have a wonderful day! Happy Birthday! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 white envelope | | Size: | 4.75 x 6.65 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Artist/Credits: | Alan Wnuk | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD10047 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. 100% Recycled. Printed with Certified Wind Power. Carbon Neutral. Elemental Chlorine Free. Printed with Soy Ink. |
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and Related Items | by Avanti Press | Our Price: $3.49
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| Inside: | Hope your Birthday is Rainbows & Sunshine & Glitter & Magic!!!! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 pink envelope | | Size: | 6.7x4.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Artist/Credits: | Carolyn Hitchcock | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD11570 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in the USA. Printed on FSC certified recycled paper. |
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and Related Items | by Nobleworks | Our Price: $3.50
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| Front: | Chocolate cake is the best cure for the birthday blues. It's called “alternative medicine”! | | Inside: | Take two slices and call me in the morning. Happy Birthday. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | The Humor Company | | Artist/Credits: | Randy Glasbergen | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD6160 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. Printed on Recycled Paper |
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and Related Items | by Nobleworks | Our Price: $3.50
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| Front: | THE ANGRY BIRTHDAY BITCH She was a year older and she didn't like it one bit! | | Inside: | Getting older is a bitch. Happy Birthday! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Sci-Fi | | Item #: | CD3987 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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and Related Items | by Nobleworks | Our Price: $2.95
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| Front: | Gas & Shop Gasoline Unleaded ARM Unleaded Plus LEG Premium YOUR FIRST BORN | | Inside: | Have a Happy Birthday no matter what it costs! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Talk Bubbles | | Item #: | CD3899 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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Larger Images
and Related Items | by Nobleworks | Our Price: $3.50
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| Front: | I always knew the arm flab had a purpose! | | Inside: | Have a Flabulous Birthday! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Artist/Credits: | Mary Lawton | | Item #: | CD4051 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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and Related Items | by Nobleworks | Our Price: $2.95
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| Front: | Arrivals: saggy boobs wrinkles stretch marks big ass cellulite varicose veins hot flashes mood swings Departures: smooth skin small sizes firm buns girlish voice flat tummy perky tits slender arms romance | | Inside: | Hope your birthday is turbulence-free! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Artist/Credits: | Tom Cheney | | Item #: | CD4068 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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and Related Items | by Nobleworks | Our Price: $3.50
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| Front: | Kiss my FACE Get out of my HAND Talk to the ASS Nigel fails the “attitude” test | | Inside: | Merry Birthday. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Whyatt | | Artist/Credits: | Tim Whyatt | | Item #: | CD4091 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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and Related Items | by Avanti Press | Our Price: $4.99
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| Inside: | Party at my crib! Happy Birthday | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 green envelope | | Size: | 6x11 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Big Funny | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | AV-201540 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | This Avanti Big Funny birthday card is perfect for that guy who had facial hair in first grade! Even if he didn't start shaving until second grade, this card will bring big laughs! The card measures 6x11 inches. Extra postage required. Made in the USA. Printed on Recycled Paper. |
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and Related Items | by Avanti Press | Our Price: $4.99
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| Inside: | It's always five o'clock somewhere! Happy Birthday | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 green envelope | | Size: | 4.75x6.7 inches | | Paper Stock: | Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Peel & Stick | | Artist/Credits: | H. Armstrong Roberts | | Features: | Stickers | | Item #: | CD10514 | | Availability: | Limited Quantity | | More Info: | Decorate your world with Avanti attitude! Characters on the front and attitude statements on the back peel away and provide extra fun for the recipient. Includes a large sticker of a baby with facial hair on the front and three stickers on the back of the card including a small version of the front image along with two talk bubbles. Made in the USA. Removeable, reusable, no residue stickers. Safe on most surfaces. |
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