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“Just wanted to tell you that I truly couldn't be happier with the cards and customer service your company provides. Not only do you handle orders lightning-fast, but the orders are shipped at a very reasonable price, in a sturdy, cardboard sleeve. But you already know all that, lol! What you may not know, however, is that while I'm a big fan of Avanti cards--and I actually live in Detroit, the home base of Avanti Company--I've still never come across, locally, as wonderful a selection as you provide. :) Plus, I like the other card lines you carry, too, and find your website easy to navigate. So please except my heartfelt thanks, give yourself a pat on the back....and kudos to you and papercards.com!”
Pam K.
“My order of cards arrived in such a short time. Thank you so much. I just love these cards, especially at your discounted price.”
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PaperCards.com Search Results
Funny birthday cards? Humorous birthday cards? At PaperCards.com we feel that our selection of funny birthday cards is second to none. We carry over 1,000 funny birthday cards from dozens of leading card brands like Avanti, Nobleworks, Recycled Paper Greetings and Oatmeal Studios. Some of the best artists are represented including Gary McCoy, Glenn McCoy, Teresa Burns Parkhurst, Eric Decetis, Hilary B. Price, Dan Collins and dozens more. From a little smile to a side-splitting laugh, you'll be busy shopping our giant selection of funny birthday cards. Just don't forget to stop to eat and drink!
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| Front: | 10 Diet Rules You've Never Thought of! 1. Food consumed when no one is around contains zero calories. 2. While baking - there are no calories in frosting or batter licked directly from the spoon or bowl. 3. Movie food (i.e. popcorn slathered in butter, candy, chocolate, etc.) doesn't count as food, it's entertainment. 4. Foods of similar color have the same caloric value: ie - white chocolate = mushrooms, pistachio ice cream = spinach. 5. Breaking cookies into small pieces neutrilizes their fat content. 6. Diet drinks negate the calories in chocolate when consumed together. 7. Frozen foods contain no calories as calories are a heat measurement. 8. Junk food is perfectly fine to consume as empty calories = no calories. 9. The calories consumed at a meal don't count when your date eats more than you. 10. Food with medicinal properties Brandy, Honey or Hot Cocoa, never count as calories. | | Inside: | Happy Birthday. Have another piece of cake! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 white envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Talk Bubbles | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD10190 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. |
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| Front: | 21st Century Quotations - I tweet therefore I am. - To friend or not to friend that is the question - Ask not what Wikipedia can't tell you. - One bad Apple requires a call to tech support. - So many websites, so little time. - Is that an iPod in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? - Don't cry over a spilled latte. - It's all geek to me. | | Inside: | Don't quote me, but I heard it's your birthday! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 white envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Talk Bubbles | | Artist/Credits: | K Krassner | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD10187 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. |
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| Front: | Weekly world news. Fat cat owns 23 old ladies. Tubby tabby rules retirement roost! | | Inside: | It's your birthday; the cat's out of the bag! Happy Birthday! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Weekly World News | | Item #: | CD3932 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | To reach that blissful state of happiness known as Nirvana you can work your way through the eight steps of Yoga. | | Inside: | Or you can just sit on your ass and eat chocolate. Hope your birthday is blissfully happy! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | The Humor Company | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD6171 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. Printed on Recycled Paper |
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| Front: | I still say it's a lot of money for a tree. | | Inside: | It's your birthday. Spare no expense. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | McCoy Bros. | | Artist/Credits: | Gary McCoy | | Item #: | CD4042 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | WANTED: A meaningful relationship. | | Inside: | A meaningful card will have to do. HB. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 red envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Hot Betty | | Features: | Jewel | | Item #: | CD3898 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | recently I was diagnosed with a.a.a.d.d. Age activated attention deficit disorder. This is how it manifests: I decided to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over my car and decide it needs washing. As I start towards the garage, I realize I'm starving. As I pass the refrigerator, I see a vase of flowers. As I reach for the vase, I knock over my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decided I'd better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter and fill a container with water when I see the remote someone left on the kitchen counter. I realize that later when I want to watch TV I'll be looking for the remote but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen counter, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs but first I'll get the mail. So I set the remote back on the counter, then head down the hall, trying to get remember what I was planning to do… | | Inside: | but first I want to wish you a happy birthday… If I haven't already… I can't remember. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 red envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Talk Bubbles | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD10705 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. Printed on recycled paper. |
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| Front: | Ol' Shep's getting up there in years. AARP AARP | | Inside: | Happy Birthday. (Hope you didn't get the card yet.) | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | McCoy Bros. | | Artist/Credits: | Glenn McCoy | | Item #: | CD3960 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | At our age, it is abundantly clear… | | Inside: | …why they call them the 'wee' hours of the morning. Hap-pee Birthday! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 white envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | The Humor Company | | Artist/Credits: | DT Walsh | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD10697 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. Printed on recycled paper. |
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| Front: | There are 7 ages of men, but only 3 for women… 1. child 2. 21 3. none of your business! | | Inside: | Celebrate your birthday like it's nobody's business. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 white envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Talk Bubbles | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD6155 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. Printed on Recycled Paper |
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| Front: | Aging gracefully is a virtue… so why is lying about your age NOT? | | Inside: | No lie, you look marvelous! Happy Birthday! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 white envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Talk Bubbles | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD10184 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. |
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| Front: | Weekly world news. Alien body snatchers reject Paris Hilton! There's no place like home! Apparently Paris wasn't exactly the aliens' cup of tea. | | Inside: | Don't mean to probe, but how old are you anyway? Happy Birthday. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Weekly World News | | Item #: | CD3936 | | Availability: | Limited Quantity |
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| Front: | Chocolate cake is the best cure for the birthday blues. It's called “alternative medicine”! | | Inside: | Take two slices and call me in the morning. Happy Birthday. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | The Humor Company | | Artist/Credits: | Randy Glasbergen | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD6160 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. Printed on Recycled Paper |
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| Front: | THE ANGRY BIRTHDAY BITCH She was a year older and she didn't like it one bit! | | Inside: | Getting older is a bitch. Happy Birthday! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Sci-Fi | | Item #: | CD3987 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | Gas & Shop Gasoline Unleaded ARM Unleaded Plus LEG Premium YOUR FIRST BORN | | Inside: | Have a Happy Birthday no matter what it costs! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Talk Bubbles | | Item #: | CD3899 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | I always knew the arm flab had a purpose! | | Inside: | Have a Flabulous Birthday! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Artist/Credits: | Mary Lawton | | Item #: | CD4051 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | Arrivals: saggy boobs wrinkles stretch marks big ass cellulite varicose veins hot flashes mood swings Departures: smooth skin small sizes firm buns girlish voice flat tummy perky tits slender arms romance | | Inside: | Hope your birthday is turbulence-free! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Artist/Credits: | Tom Cheney | | Item #: | CD4068 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | Kiss my FACE Get out of my HAND Talk to the ASS Nigel fails the “attitude” test | | Inside: | Merry Birthday. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Whyatt | | Artist/Credits: | Tim Whyatt | | Item #: | CD4091 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | I know I shouldn't use it as a babysitter, but it's the only way I can get any housework done. | | Inside: | Happy Birthday. Let the games begin.. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | McCoy Bros. | | Artist/Credits: | Glenn McCoy | | Item #: | CD3964 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | The plumber was called in when they found.. A really bad leek in the bathroom | | Inside: | Take the plunge! Happy Birthday! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Violent Veg | | Item #: | CD4037 | | Availability: | Limited Quantity |
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| Front: | BALDING Now it takes longer to wash your face | | Inside: | Another birthday and not a hair out of place. Happy Birthday. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Happy Thoughts | | Item #: | CD4020 | | Availability: | Backorder |
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| Front: | Hurry up, Eno! I really have to use the bathroom!! I'm reading as fast as I can!! | | Inside: | Time to start a new chapter and have a happy birthday. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 white envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | The Humor Company | | Artist/Credits: | Glenn McCoy | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD10192 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. |
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| Front: | Once again Larry arrives late to the office with a bad case of bed head. | | Inside: | Nappy Birthday | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | McCoy Bros. | | Artist/Credits: | Glenn McCoy | | Item #: | CD4045 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | Menstruation, Menopause, Mental Breakdown… …notice how all women's problems begin with Men. | | Inside: | Need I MEN-tion another birthday? Happy Birthday | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 white envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Talk Bubbles | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD10700 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. Printed on recycled paper. |
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| Front: | Big Foot. Big Willy. | | Inside: | Happy Birthday. Hope it isn't a drag. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Whyatt | | Artist/Credits: | Tim Whyatt | | Item #: | CD4103 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour. | | Inside: | Time to have a happy birthday! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Artist/Credits: | Leo Cullum | | Item #: | CD3974 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | A birthday limerick for you: To shop for your birthday was hard - For I hold you in such high regard - A great gift would be neato - But I'm such a cheapo | | Inside: | I just got you a stupid card. Oh well. Happy Birthday anyway. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | The Humor Company | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD6172 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. Printed on Recycled Paper |
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| Front: | “Life is boring and meaningless without you.” | | Inside: | Hope this birthday soars! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Artist/Credits: | Dan Collins | | Item #: | CD4023 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | Trust me. It's the Botox. I don't really enjoy this! | | Inside: | Trust me when I say have a Happy Birthday | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Planet Fabulous | | Item #: | CD3912 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | Can you shut her off? I can't keep up. | | Inside: | It's your birthday. Get pumped! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Item #: | CD3996 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | Please don't make me go all CAPS LOCK on your ass! | | Inside: | HAPPY BIRTHDAY! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 white envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Talk Bubbles | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD6147 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. Printed on Recycled Paper |
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| Front: | Captain Flatulence Able to defeat enemies with a single blast! SILENT but DEADLY!! | | Inside: | Hope your birthday is a blast! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Super Heroes | | Artist/Credits: | Dan Collins | | Item #: | CD4049 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | Looks like you got a birthday card from the brewery. | | Inside: | Bottoms up. Happy Birthday. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Artist/Credits: | Tom Cheney | | Item #: | CD4070 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | CDO OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order like they should be. | | Inside: | Hope your birthday is just right. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Happy Thoughts | | Item #: | CD4017 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | When a lot of men reach a certain age, they experience chest pains… | | Inside: | …mostly because their belts are too tight. Happy Birthday! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 white envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | The Humor Company | | Artist/Credits: | DT Walsh | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD10693 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. Printed on recycled paper. |
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| Front: | Doris and Bill saved a small fortune on children's air fares. | | Inside: | Hope your birthday is packed with fun! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Artist/Credits: | Stan Eales | | Item #: | CD4038 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | CHOCOLATE Because it can't get you pregnant. | | Inside: | Hope your birthday is all that and a creamy center. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Happy Thoughts | | Item #: | CD4010 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | Sorry, Reynolds. The music stopped and you're still standing. Clean out your desk. | | Inside: | Hope your birthday is outstanding. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 white envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | The Humor Company | | Artist/Credits: | Glenn McCoy | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD6151 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. Printed on Recycled Paper |
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| Front: | “Relax, I'm only the clothing reaper. I'm here for that bikini you'll no longer fit into.” | | Inside: | Hope your birthday is to die for. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 yellow envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Artist/Credits: | Jerry King | | Item #: | CD3967 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | Commander Remote. The power is in his hand. Saving the world from the comfort of his recliner. | | Inside: | We interrupt this broadcast to wish you a Happy Birthday! | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | Super Heroes | | Artist/Credits: | Dan Collins | | Item #: | CD4047 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | How can I put this..my bladder is not what you'd call a 'control freak!' | | Inside: | It's your birthday. Get pissed. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | McCoy Bros. | | Artist/Credits: | Glenn McCoy | | Item #: | CD3958 | | Availability: | In Stock |
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| Front: | After all these years, I'm finally comfortable in my own skin. Maybe it's because my skin is a lot bigger than it used to be! | | Inside: | Get comfortable… it's your birthday. | | Includes: | 1 card / 1 blue envelope | | Size: | 4.6x6.75 inches | | Paper Stock: | Recycled Heavy Cardstock | | Prd Line: | The Humor Company | | Artist/Credits: | Randy Glasbergen | | Features: | Recycled Paper | | Item #: | CD6162 | | Availability: | In Stock | | More Info: | Made in USA. Printed on Recycled Paper |
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